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The other day I was scanning radio stations in the car trying to find a decent song (actually any song at that point because there were commercials on all the stations) and I paused at 98.9 for a moment. I paused in much the same way that a person would pause as they pass a horrific car accident. It's terrible but you can't look away. Similarly, this song was terrible and yet I couldn't change the station. The name of the song was...actually I don't know and don't want to know. The band was Metallica. I'm assuming the song was off of a new cd? Are people still buying their cds? I don't know. Anyway, the song sounded like all the band members were dead and the studio assembled some outtakes and made a song out it. (which is ironic because they have been dead to me since the black album...I think the black album should retrospectivelly be called "Metallica is dead, because we're going to sell out and suck really bad after this black album and that's why we made it black and with no album title because we died ") Kind of like after Elvis was dead and they kept "finding" lost songs or when they did a song with dead Elvis and his daughter Lisa Marie. Hetfield's singing...well I can only relate it to Velvetta. Velvetta is so processed that they can't even call it cheese...it's cheese product. Yes, James Hetfield Highly Processed Singing Product or JHHPSP for short. The guitar, bass and drums sounded terrible in every way imaginable...like a bad Guitar Hero version. Which brings me to the icing on the cake of disappointment. A kind of jumping the shark of the music business. Metallica endorsed Guitar Hero?!?! Somewhere on the west coast there is a very very happy and at peace Dave Mustaine who is no longer angry that he got kicked out of Metallica. He's so very very happy as he watches the Metallica Guitar Hero commercial, that he is not a part of that band!
Is there a band or artist that you feel jumped the shark? Did they lip sync at the superbowl? Did they guest judge on American Idol? Did they try to replace a frontman through a tv show called Rockstar? Did they make 5 albums past their prime? Did they play Pierre's recently? :-D What are your thoughts?
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6 comments:
LOL: Mmmmmmm I do love to spread some JHHPSP on my sandwiches deeelicious! Good topic, I gotta give this a quick thought and see if there is any bands that come to mind.
Aerosmith- anything past 1990
ac/dc- everything they did.....
u2-see aerosmith.
Chris Cornell- did you here the rubish he just realeased.???..its a mix of hip-hop and folk music ..a waste of talent.
the more i think of it name a band that started in the 80's and are still around that this topic DOESN'T fit..
Well spoken Nate! LOL Sean!
Yeah, depending on your criteria that are sooo many shark jumpers in music. Metallica stands out to me just because they are the quintessential METAL band known for hardcore rock n roll, partying and drinkin so it seems so cheap with them hawking products... but I guess their core audience prolly has settled down and has kids who play Guitar Hero now, so if you look at it that way it's more of a natural progression to blandness.
I can't comment without mentioning Bono's amazing 'transformation' from earnest singer to megalomaniac. Here is a funny little article about U2 3D concert with the words "ego messianic hug topless wtf caressing end" highlighted for fun... but Bono is just too easy a target.
One thing you could say about Pearl Jam is that they are still the same d-bag, anit-sellouts as when they started out but even now they are still following in the footsteps of so many bands who can't make good music anymore so they re-release their old stuff with "extras" to try to intice people to buy it.
Radiohead is another that comes to mind but their shark-jumping is more of the natural progression of music as bands age. Thier first 3-4 albums are masterpieces of songwriting and guitarwork but then they venture off into techno crap in pursuit of 'art' or whatever. no thanks.
Pretty much every gangsta rapper that comes out in their first album talking about living in the hood and dodging bullets. And then after that album is a success he turns around and brags about drinking Cristal in Saint Tropez. How very street.
Any pop star that turns into a country act.
I hate to say it but U2 jumped the shark in the mid-ninties. Bono drank way too much of his own kool-aid.
The Rolling Stones when they sued the pants off The Verve for Bittersweet Symphony. It's criminal how many old poor blues artists Jagger ripped off for him to throw a hissy fit over The Verve.
You know with American Idol (sorry Scott), Instant Guitar Hero and Who Wants To Be A Rockstar culture, I really don't know what a "rockstar" is these days. I think everyone just accepts that they are gonna be jumpin' shark like they are running the hurdles. Musical integrity is gone fellas.
LOL..."jumpin' shark like they are running the hurdles"
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